Stop Bleeding Out

The phone rings twice.

Unknown number. You ignore it.

It rings again.

That persistence that signals: this won't stop.

You answer. Someone you haven't spoken to in years. By choice, not because of conflict, just... unwarranted.

No value exchange. No emotional exchange. Just someone who exists in your contacts.

They got your number from your sister. Needs information that they could search online in 30 seconds.

You respond briefly. Politely. End the call.

Then you call your sister.

And shout at her.

Not because she did anything malicious. She didn't know you needed her not to do that, because you've never built a system for situations like this.

The phone call was small.

The internal collapse was total.

You know this pattern.

Not just with calls, with comments that land wrong, setbacks that feel like evidence of failure, minor frustrations that flood everything.

I learned this the expensive way.

The phone call was real. The shouting at my sister... real. The shame afterwards... real.

Because I was operating without architecture for that specific recurring pattern.

No protocol. No compartments. No bulkheads.

Everything collapsed into undifferentiated reaction.

There's a concept in psychology called the wild horse effect.

Wild horses on the African savannah get bitten by bats. The bite is physically minor. The blood loss? Minuscule. Not fatal.

But some of them run frantically until they collapse from exhaustion.

What kills them isn't the bite. It's the undifferentiated panic response.

Ships don't sink from water around them. They sink from water that gets inside... flooding compartments without bulkheads.

Bulkheads are watertight walls that divide a ship into separate compartments, so one breach doesn't sink the whole vessel.

Same principle. Same truth:

External pressure doesn't destroy you. Internal flooding without architecture does.

After I sat with the shame of misdirected anger, I recognised something:

I didn't need better emotional control.

I needed a response architecture.

Not willpower. Bulkheads.

Not suppression. Organisation.

What I call: The Google Protocol.

Think about how Google handles queries: a sea of resources available, self-service trained first, human connection reserved for what actually needs it.

Not cold. Intentional.

Same principle, applied internally.

Most people think the problem is overreacting.

So they try willpower: "Just don't let it bother you." "Control your emotions." "Be less sensitive."

That's suppression, not organisation.

Or they try boundaries:

"Cut toxic people out." "Protect your energy." "Say no more."

That's walls, not architecture.

Neither works long-term because neither addresses the real issue: you're operating without compartments.

One breach floods everything.

What actually works: understanding where control actually lives.

Two states of water:

The Breach: external, inevitable, not yours to prevent.

The Flood: internal, architectural, entirely yours to contain.

The difference between them?

Bulkheads.

Let me show you how this works.

The Breach (What Actually Happened)

Most people conflate trigger with threat.

The phone call is just a phone call. The text message is just a text message. The comment is just a comment.

Small. Neutral. One compartment affected.

But you don't experience it that way.

Here's what actually happened in my moment:

Unknown number. Years of intentional distance. Got my number from my sister. Needs what the internet provides in 30 seconds.

That's the breach.

Containable. One compartment: "Boundary situation requiring protocol."

The mistake I made: treating the breach as the problem. "If this hadn't happened, I'd be fine."

The reframe: The breach isn't the problem. What you let it flood is the problem.

External events are neutral until you assign meaning. The question isn't "how do I prevent breaches?" (life is full of them).

The question is: "How do I prevent one breach from flooding every system?"

The Flood (Internal Cascade Without Compartments)

Without bulkheads (internal architecture), one small breach floods every system.

Here's what flooded in my moment:

I respond to the contact. Briefly. Politely. End call.

Then the internal cascade begins:

My sister gave out my number without asking. For THIS person, for trivial ask, years of history.

Every compartment flooded: boundary violation, accommodating identity (I HAVE to be available), professional disrespect (my time, my expertise), past resentments (THIS always happens), future dread (pattern I've never addressed).

All from one phone call.

I call my sister. Shout at her.

Wrong target. Disproportionate response. Total collapse.

The mistake: "I just need to control my emotions better."

Willpower approach. Doesn't work. You can't willpower your way through floods.

The reframe: I need bulkheads. Architecture prevents floods. Willpower doesn't.

Emotional organisation beats emotional control. Always.

The Bulkheads (Response Architecture That Contains)

Bulkheads are internal compartments that prevent a cascade.

Same breach. Different architecture. Completely different outcome.

Water enters one compartment, doesn't sink the ship.

The Google Protocol:

Google doesn't ignore you. They've built architecture so you get answers faster than waiting for human response. They've trained users: self-service empowers you more than dependency.

Not cold. Clear.

Same principle, internal application.

Here's what The Google Protocol looks like:

Next time similar breach happens - unknown number texts: "Hey, quick question about [thing]."

Bulkheads activate:

Event Isolation: This is unwarranted contact. Not an emergency. Not relationship maintenance. Not mutual value exchange.

Category Assignment: My boundary protocol is missing (not their fault, not [person]'s fault, mine to build).

Contained Response: "Appreciate you thinking of me. I keep work queries in professional channels, otherwise everything floods. If you need proper help: [channel]. If it's quick info: internet is faster than I am. Take care."

Water enters one compartment. Other compartments are unaffected. No cascade. No shouting. No identity flooding.

Ship stays afloat.

Disclaimer: When I say "value", I don't mean professional only. I mean professional (collaboration that serves both), financial (exchange that's mutual), emotional (connection that nourishes), growth (yours or your loved ones').

Value = Any exchange you're willingly oriented toward.

The unwarranted contact? You're not oriented toward it. Never were. But you had no system to honour that truth.

The Google Protocol lets you be most yourself in spaces where you've chosen to be.

Your sister gets depth. Your clients get depth. Your loved ones get depth.

Random contact gets resources.

Not because they don't matter, but because you're not mutually oriented toward value creation together.

That's not mechanical. That's intentional.

Two states. One choice.

You experience the Breach (inevitable. life delivers these).

You prevent the Flood (containable. architecture determines this).

The Bulkheads make the difference.

Same external pressure. Different internal architecture.

The water's still there. The situation is still genuinely difficult sometimes. But it's in one compartment now. Not flooding the entire ship.

This isn't just about phone calls.

It's about bringing the same mastery you apply externally to your internal experience.

You're cognitively capable. You've built systems for work, for projects, for external success. But you've been operating internally without architecture.

The wild horse runs until it collapses because it can't distinguish threat levels.

You drown in small situations because you haven't built compartments.

Ships don't sink from water around them. They sink from water that gets inside.

Build the bulkheads.

You're not someone who overreacts anymore.

You're someone who has a response architecture.

Not someone who's too sensitive.

Someone who's organised for boundary situations.

Not someone trying to control emotions.

Someone who's built internal compartments.

The false choice dissolves: be tough OR be sensitive.

The integration emerges: be organised.

So the next time a colleague assumes your weekend is their research assistant... or that contact who only reaches out when they need something...

You'll recognise the breach.

You'll feel the flood trying to start.

And you'll apply the bulkheads.

Not because you've become cold. Because you've become clear.

Not because you're protecting yourself from people.

Because you're directing your depth to where you've chosen to dive.

You're not becoming less available.

You're becoming more intentional about where your availability lives.

Until next week,

love,

aayush

hustle peacefully!